Laura and the Underdogs
I needed a break and shut off the internet,
and tried writing a bit of semi-fictionalized stuff about my work as a mediator
with Children’s Services. I also wanted
to check out Laura ----- to see how things were at her home. Laura was a twenty-one years old single
parent raising three of her own children, all with different fathers. She lived in a public housing project on the
south side of the city, surrounded by slums.
It was easy to differentiate the public housing as there was some
occasional maintenance on the buildings and an effort by the Metro Housing
Authority to keep drug dealers from living in the small apartments. The apartment complex was built to 1960’s
social engineering standards with small rooms, in two story condo style
dwellings. A social services office was
on site, but the human vultures hovered on the sidelines waiting to victimize
anyone who looked the least bit vulnerable when they walked off the property. It was slightly better than the township
housing I had seen in South Africa and Zimbabwe when I had worked there twenty
years in the past.
Laura
was raising three of her siblings in addition to her own three children. When she was fourteen and living with her
mother and eight brothers and sisters, Laura’s mother, in a bout of depression,
had locked the doors and set their house on fire. Laura managed to get all the children out and
save her mother as well. Her reward was
seeing her brothers and sisters placed in a multitude of foster homes and her
mother sent to prison for 15 years. Her
need for a caring relationship led to her bad choices in older male
companions. Nevertheless, Laura worked
two jobs and went to school in the evenings to train to be a nurse. She had told me that she wanted to make
something of herself, to break the cycle of dependence on others. As a seventeen-year-old she had traveled
three states away to fight for custody of one of her younger sisters, and she
had won her case. The sister was now one
of the three siblings living with her.
Laura was one of the many single moms that I knew from my work in
mediation and Family Stability cases.
Her story was the one of the few that inspired me. I had gotten several outside organizations to
provide some support to Laura and her family.
At twenty-one, just about the only thing this woman had not suffered
from was sexual abuse, and I wasn’t sure
of that.
She was in her kitchen sitting at the table with her newborn in her arms. A pot of stew was on the stove and Laura was helping her sister with high school homework. Laura had finished a six hours shift at a fast food restaurant and would go to a second job after supper. Three nights a week she attended classes at the community college. She was still a year away from graduation. Her sister helped with babysitting when Laura was away. It sometimes caused truancy problems for the sister but it was the only way for the family to survive. I had talked to the prosecutor, to drop the case against Laura for contributing to the truancy. He and I had first learned of the case when Laura came to a Family Stability meeting at the County Children’s Services office when another sibling had been having problems with behavior at school. The family had been under supervision for a long time, but it was my first meeting with Laura. I had since been bringing some clothes to her for the younger ones and had a group of university students I was coaching in track and cross country donate some of their time and belongings toward helping Laura’s family.
“Man, what’s happening?” Laura was always glad to see me. She said I reminded her of her grandfather.
“Not much. How’s class and everything else?”
“I’m struggling a bit with my physiology class. All these hormone and feedback loops in the body. If I’d only known a bit more before my family started growing.”
Because she had brought up the subject, I felt comfortable asking her if she planned to have her tubes tied.
“I really should. But when do I have time?”
“You’re gonna have try really hard, Laura. How many more can you take care of before they’ll need to be taking care of you?”
“Goddammit, I try not to be a burden on anybody. Sometimes though I just want some time to
myself or a little enjoyment in life.
Fucking is the only thing I don’t have to pay money to do.
“Well, if you put it that way, I guess it makes some sense.” I said sarcastically. Then I realized she had probably heard that trite response regularly.
“It’s just that I see you doing so well, but just adding more burdens on yourself.”
“I know, I know. And I’ve got an appointment with my OBGYN next month. She’s strongly recommending it too.”
“I know , it’s your choice but it just doesn’t look like that hard a decision from where I’m sitting.”
“The
evangelicals were down here last week with the same response, just with a
different message. They harassed me when
I went to the clinic. They didn’t even
ask me if I was keeping the baby. They
just assumed that because birth control and abortions were available there that
I was going in for that reason. Hell, I
was just getting a pre-natal check up. I
had this kid in spite of those fucks.”
Sometimes Laura’s vulgarity was shocking even to me. But I still saw her as an angel in a sea of the damned. I left her some money before taking off. She didn’t need anything in the short term. She thanked me and I left without extending a hand or a hug.
Two
11 year old gang banger wannabees were leaning on the car when I got to the
parking area.
“Hey, motherfucker. What you doin’ here? You fuckin’ that white girl? You want some crack? I be getting’ you what all you all want, Man.”
“Not today Lavonne. I’ll see you next time. You coming down to Diversion next week? Let me know if anyone is comin’ down on her, OK?”
“You da fuckin’ man, Bro.”
When
I stayed out of the ‘hood’ for a while it was so nice not to be addressed in
the pejorative case. At least these kids
were honest about their feelings.
